Published: May 7, 2025
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Your parents cared for you for the first years of your life, and they may need your help as they get older. Caring for aging parents can be both challenging and rewarding. It’s important to manage healthy communication and boundaries during this time, while meeting the health care needs of the older adult. Here are some things to consider if you are or will be caring for an elderly parent.
When dealing with elderly parents, having a plan in place for health care, living arrangements and other considerations before the need arises is a good idea. It’s also important to have an established primary care relationship.
“We can catch issues early and set a baseline for health, such as blood pressure, cholesterol levels and other aspects of health,” said Joshua H. Brandon, M.D., family medicine physician with Norton Community Medical Associates. “Then we can monitor changes over time.”
Primary care providers can help manage medications to avoid harmful drug interactions and can coordinate care services, including respite care or home care.
“We can make a plan for care services, home care or nursing home — whatever the family needs,” Dr. Brandon said.
It also can be very helpful to have a primary care provider who knows the history and family dynamic of the aging parent.
“It can take time to build a relationship, so sooner rather than later is preferred,” Dr. Brandon said.
Knowing when or how to intervene in an elderly parent’s life isn’t always obvious. Here are some signs it might be time to start the conversation:
The goal here is to find a situation that works for everyone while maintaining healthy boundaries and open communication. If you’re starting this conversation with the older adults in your life, approach with empathy, patience and an open mind. Frame your talk around maximizing independence for as long as possible, not taking it away. Address concerns — both those of the adult children and the elderly parent — openly and honestly. If it feels appropriate to include siblings, other family members or friends, bring them into the conversation as well.
It’s a good idea for the elderly parent to take a friend or family member to doctor appointments. Before the appointment, make a list of questions or concerns to take with you, so you don’t forget anything important.
Norton MyChart lets you see and update medications, review past diagnoses and treatments, and check upcoming appointments. You also can email your care team, and you can set up proxy access for your loved one’s Norton MyChart account.
After you’ve had the initial conversations around caring for your aging parent, you can start taking basic next steps, including:
As you have these conversations with your loved one about what life might start to look like in the coming years, emphasize that it’s a partnership.
“Even small interventions can make a difference and help build a deeper relationship between adult children and their parents,” Dr. Brandon said.