Style icon Iris Apfel will share nearly a century’s worth of life lessons at the free Go Confidently event in Louisville July 10.

Published: July 8, 2019 | Updated: March 10, 2023

Iris Apfel, in her trademark oversized glasses and flair for bright style, has been going confidently for 97 years.

Here, from her latest book – “Accidental Icon” – are some of Iris’ pearls.

One size doesn’t fit all

“I learned early on that I have to be my own person to be content,” Iris writes.

Iris recognizes that her style choices draw the labels “different” or “eccentric,” but attracting attention isn’t her intent.

“When you don’t dress like everyone else, you don’t have to think like everyone else,” she writes.

But ease into it. Being an original is going to work against you if you don’t try to be a part of things initially.

“Fit in first and then step out,” according to Iris.

The idea is to be perceived as an original and being accepted rather than being perceived as different and resented.

Iris’ thoughts on a long and happy marriage:

• Have a sense of humor.
• Respect each other.
• Give each other space.
• You won’t always agree, but try to stay on the same wavelength.
• Don’t sacrifice how you are and accept who your partner is.
• Don’t be petty.
• Do new things together.
• Accept you won’t always like the same things and people
• If your partner doesn’t want to do something and you want to, do it anyway. Once in a while do something your partner wants to do.
• Share new interests.

You can’t go home again

“If an experience was wonderful, don’t try to re-create it,” Iris writes. “It will never be as beautiful as it was the first time.”

“If you want to stay young, you have to think young”

Iris cites an old friend’s observation on aging — if you have two of anything, one of them is going to hurt when you get up in the morning.

But you have to keep moving.

“Having a sense of wonder, a sense of humor, and a sense of curiosity — these are my tonic. … I hold the self-proclaimed record for being the World’s Oldest Living Teenager and I intend to keep it that way,” Iris writes.

How to get away with anything

According to Iris: “If your hair is done properly and you’re wearing good shoes, you can get away with anything” in terms of dressing appropriately for your age and the occasion.

“People are not getting dressed anymore,” she writes. “Everybody looks like a mess, like they’re on their way to a shower bath or who knows where.”

This, as you might expect, particularly troubles Iris.

“When style and good manners go away, the whole culture seems to disintegrate,” she writes.

There’s nothing wrong with wrinkles

Trying to look years younger isn’t fooling anyone.

“To go get work done or get injections to try to make yourself look a few years younger is stupid. And the results are permanent, either,” according to Iris.

“Selling yourself for a buck is not worth the real price”

“If you’re happy, have found love, are surrounded by good people, doing what you like and giving back to others, that’s success,” Iris writes.